The Hampshire Sexperts

Welcome to the Hampshire College Sexperts Blog!

This here is a forum for YOU, dear community member, to ask any and all questions you may have about sex, sexuality, relationships, sex...
Submit your questions (anonymously or not) whenever you want! They'll be answered as soon as possible by the Hampshire College Sexperts.

The Sexperts will also be using this site to announce community events and share links/resources/additional information we think you'll enjoy. Do you have something sex-related YOU'D like to share? DO IT! Just PLEASE keep your comments respectful and nonjudgmental.

The Sexperts are a group of peer educators, not medical professionals. While we'll always answer questions to the best of our ability, we'll also be honest in recommending professional advice when we feel it's appropriate.

Thoughts? Feedback? Suggestions? Questions about the Sexperts? You can also email us at!
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Is masturbation gay or something else
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

something else

we’re having a screening next thursday! click the link for more info

Asker Anonymous Asks:
When I do kegel exercises it feels really good, as if I was rubbing my clitoris. Not that I'm complaining, it's awesome, but I was just wondering if this happens to other people as well?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

YES! It does. And also, sometimes it doesn’t. Everybody experiences different sensations when physically stimulated by kegels (or anything else). The clitoris also extends way farther back into your body than you might realize — so it might make sense that the muscles you activate when doing kegel exercises are somehow related or connected. Here’s a diagram of what a full clitoris actually looks like!


Asker Anonymous Asks:
How can i fit a pumpkin in my butt?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:
  • do not
Asker Anonymous Asks:
hey! I'm a 19 y/o cis girl and my orgasms are always wayyyy too intense. The buildup is always very pleasurable, but regardless of technique and how I get off, whenever I cum it feels like a kind of pleasure that's so intense it's almost like pain. I almost always have to stop before I feel like I've finished, and I can't be touched around my labia for a few minutes afterwards. I never feel entirely satisfied after I cum because of this. How can I lessen the intensity of my orgasms?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Wait……this is me. Not as in I literally wrote this, but the same thing happens to me. (-a very cool and pretty Sexpert)

Okay, I’ve heard a few people describe this phenomenon now. So I’m convinced it’s a “thing.” A normal thing.

Anyone who has experienced this can tell you that it’s very annoying. But it doesn’t mean you can’t have satisfying sex. Getting personal for a moment: usually after I have one orgasm, I am very very sensitive and don’t feel quite done, so I veeerrrry gently begin to stimulate myself again and have another orgasm or three from a much softer touch and then collapse and have a rad nap.

I’ve learned to embrace it in some ways. For one thing, I imagine it can be fun for my partner to see me cum multiple times and to play with the intensity of what we’re doing. I do have to be vocal about what I need them to do at that moment, but hey, that’s never a bad thing.

I’ll definitely do some more research, but for now, try using a much, much gentler touch to try to have a second orgasm. A vibrator on the lowest setting should do the trick. And if not, you’re not alone <3

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hi! This isn't specifically about sex, but is about sexuality - thought you might be able to answer anyway. I'm 23, cisfemale, identify as straight, virgin but hook up casually. When I started masturbating I found that fantasizing about girls turned me on more than guys, have never hooked up with a girl mostly b/c i'm shy. But, have never been romantically/emotionally attracted to a girl. Does it make sense to only have a sexual attraction to girls, or am i in denial? (I really don't think I am
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Sex and sexuality can be a complicated thing and it’s not for us to determine for you. However, if you’re experiencing sexual attraction to female-bodied people then you are by definition sexually attracted to them. It is possible to experience only sexual feelings towards others and not want to develop a romantic relationship, lots of people experience that. Though, like you said, you’ve never given it enough time to develop those romantic feelings.

If you choose to hook up with a girl, our advice is to be clear with her about your intentions. If it’s becoming an ongoing hookup scenario, let her know that you’re not sure you want a romantic relationship, you’re just enjoying having sex with her (and hopefully her company as a friend too)! Just like you would with a guy you didn’t want to date.

Note: here’s an Autostraddle article that reveals just how many straight women are attracted to girls - but still straight. This may or may not be you, but it’s interesting:

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm curious, how is wearing more than one condom dangerous? I can't seem to think of any reasons.
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Wearing more than one condom at the same time doesn’t provide any added benefit in protection, it actually increases the risk of breakage!

Two condoms rubbing against one another causes friction which can make one or both of them to break more easily. 

If you use condoms correctly, they are extremely effective in preventing pregnancy and some STIs. That being said - make sure you’re using them correctly! Here’s a video by Planned Parenthood about how to use a condom:

And if you’re still worried about pregnancy, try using a backup method such as the pill or an IUD :)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm male-bodied person who has regular issues with premature ejaculation. How do I deal with this?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

First of all, premature ejaculation is totally normal, and happens to many folks when they masturbate or engage in intercourse. You might find it helpful to try the “stop and start” method to practice, which involves masturbating for a bit, then stopping, then starting again; this may help to foster bodily control. If you’re with a partner, this can be a really sexy interaction to have. 

As a side note, wearing a condom (which you should always do — protection is vital!) can help to desensitize sexual interaction, which may help to prolong the time before ejaculation. Never wear more than one condom at a given time — even if it does help to make you last longer, it is highly unsafe. 

Asker Anonymous Asks:
How do you recommend women keep their genitals fresh and clean without any unnatural products?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Great question! First, we’d like to quickly address the language of saying “women” instead of “female assigned” -  not everyone who identifies as a woman has a vagina/vulva, not everyone with a vulva/vagina is a woman!

In regards to keeping it fresh and clean, here are a few tips and tricks:

1. Bathe daily! Your vulva doesn’t need intense and abrasive scrubbing — some warm water should do the trick.

2. We do not recommend the use of any harsh or scented soap products (e.g. Doctor Bronner’s — it stings, or general scented body washes). The vagina isn’t supposed to smell like roses or vanilla bean, it’s supposed to smell like vagina, so don’t worry about that natural scent. We recommend using Cetaphil, which is generally used as a face wash, but it very gentle and good for washing any part of the body (Note: don’t ever put soap in your vagina/on your vulva! It can be highly irritating).

3. The vulva is a sensitive body part and should be treated with caution and care. Perfumed wipes are also not the best idea, as they too can cause irritation.

4. Douching, or cleansing your vagina with some mixture of water/vinegar/antiseptic, is really not a good idea. It messes with the PH balance of your vagina’s chemistry. 

5. Wear cotton/breathable underwear to allow your vulva to get some airflow.

Hope this helps :)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I am a female-bodied in a monogamous relationship w/ a male-bodied person. We have been having sex regularly for 2 yrs. I have never been able to orgasm thru vaginal intercourse, but I have no problem reaching an orgasm thru oral sex. While I have emphasized to my partner that orgasm is not the most important part of sex to me, and while he enjoys performing oral, he wishes he could make me orgasm vaginally, and I would like to know what it's like. Is this normal? Is there anything I/we can do?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

First of all - totally normal. At least 70% of women don’t orgasm from vaginal action alone (that is, no clitoral stimulation included). Though vaginal orgasms do happen and lots of people love them, clitoral orgasms are the most common sort.

However, this does not mean it’s not possible to have an orgasm during intercourse! Either you could try a few new things to stimulate your g-spot, or you could try some more clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Don’t feel frustrated if you aren’t able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation at this point. It’s a very normal thing. But also remember that the clitoris can be stimulated from the inside as well!

Some people find that clitoral and vaginal orgasms feel different, but some say they feel pretty much the same, so don’t feel like you’re missing out if you’re having great orgasms. Go Ask Alice has a good explanation of vaginal and clitoral orgasms here:

That being said, there are lots of fun positions and toys made to stimulate the g-spot and, often, the g-spot and the clitoris at the same time.

If toys are your thing, we recommend trying a “rabbit” style vibrator ( that will provide both clitoral and vaginal stimulation. There are also lots of toys made specifically to touch the g-spot. Look for ones that have a curve at the tip. You can find lots of quality nice-looking g-spot toys on the Fun Factory website (link at the bottom).

If you don’t normally, try getting on top during sex. Changing the angle might provide new sensations and if you want, you can more easily touch/rub your own clitoris if you’re the partner on top.

Here are some other positions you can try that might help you make orgasms happen during intercourse (I know, Cosmo…but we found this article informative and helpful):

Have fun figuring it out! And don’t stress if nothing changes. Even if you can’t orgasm vaginally now, you might be able to in the future. And you can still have great orgasms the way you normally do.