The Hampshire Sexperts

Welcome to the Hampshire College Sexperts Blog!

This here is a forum for YOU, dear community member, to ask any and all questions you may have about sex, sexuality, relationships, sex...
Submit your questions (anonymously or not) whenever you want! They'll be answered as soon as possible by the Hampshire College Sexperts.

The Sexperts will also be using this site to announce community events and share links/resources/additional information we think you'll enjoy. Do you have something sex-related YOU'D like to share? DO IT! Just PLEASE keep your comments respectful and nonjudgmental.

The Sexperts are a group of peer educators, not medical professionals. While we'll always answer questions to the best of our ability, we'll also be honest in recommending professional advice when we feel it's appropriate.

Thoughts? Feedback? Suggestions? Questions about the Sexperts? You can also email us at!
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Is there a word you know of that's similar to misgendering, but describes incorrectly assuming one is a certain sexuality? Love this blog!
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

We can’t think of a single word for this, but you could say “heteronormative assumptions” if that’s appropriate, or “incorrect assumptions about sexuality” - if you can think of a better way to say it, we would love to hear it!

also thanks ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

"I love women," is not a get out of jail free card. Thicke pulled the same bullshit when he was accused of degrading women in "Blurred Lines": "When we made the song, we had nothing but the most respect for women," he said. How nice of you to say so, Mr. Thicke. Alas, your work shows the opposite to be true. I am fairly certain many of the men who buy sex and consume porn also think they do it because they really, really, love women. NOPE. You love women like I love wine — as something I consume selfishly for my personal benefit and as a product.
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Uhm.. my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time tonight, it's getting close to my time of the month and his penis is 4x larger than what I am use to but, after we had sex I bled and it's scaring me..a little help?/:
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:


One good way to tell where bleeding comes from is the color of the blood. Bright bright red usually means that it is coming from the vagina or vaginal opening. Darker, maybe with some brown colors, type of blood usually means period blood. Hopefully this can help you discern between the two. I wouldn’t be concerned about the period blood but the bright red could be a few things.
The bright red could be a tear somewhere in the vagina. If the penis was larger than you were used to, I would say it could have made you nervous and possibly muscles clenched a bit during activity. The best way to remedy this is to refrain from sexual activity for a week to allow healing. Then, next time sexual activity occurs, use lots of lube (water or silicone based!) and take things slowly so you can be relaxed.


Educate yourselves and the people around you. Take rape seriously. Listen to people. I think a big part of why rape culture even exists is because slut shaming exists. Don’t take part in either one. 

Amanda, Sex Ed Intern

(via cuntofdoom)


Because I’ve partnered with Dollar Rubber Club quite a few times, they are offering a special promo for any of my followers. If you sign up for their club for at least two months, you’ll get your first month of condoms for only one cent! Dollar Rubber Club mails you an order of condoms discretely and right to your door for only one dollar a month. You can choose either a 12 pack variety pack or 12 pack of your favorite condoms, a 6 pack, or a 3 pack. Click on the link and enter one of the promo codes on the billing screen once you pick your pack. You will be charged one penny.

And remember, condoms aren’t just for penis in vagina sex, you can use them with toys, and cut them open to use them as dental dams. Wrap it up!

Only one antibiotic is shown to make hormonal birth control less effective. That is rifampin, a special medication used to treat tuberculosis. The brand names for rifampin include Rifadin and Rimactane. Other antibiotics do not make hormonal birth control less effective.

From Planned Parenthood’s response to “Will the morning-after pill work if I’m taking antibiotics?” Excellent answer to a question we hear a lot.

Wondering which medications do affect birth control effectiveness? We’ve got a new Provider Perspective about that.

(via bedsider)

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)

Sexuality, too, is fluid, and many people seem to struggle with this, to the point of being actively repulsed and confused by the idea that sexual orientation does not necessarily remain consistent throughout someone’s life. This attitude is harmful for those who do experience shifts in their sexual orientations, but it also stifles conversation and exploration, as people who may be confused about their sexuality who receive this kind of messaging may experience harm that takes years to undo—and in some cases, they may never recover, because they are never given an opportunity to learn who they are and be themselves.

Take, for example, the heterosexual woman who later develops an attraction to women, and begins to identify as bisexual or lesbian. She may have experienced this attraction throughout her life and not picked up on it—perhaps she didn’t meet the right woman, or she was living in a repressive environment where homosexuality was not accepted. Or maybe her sexual orientation actively shifted. The attitudes of those around her will be dismissive and unpleasant, as people attempt to erase both her past as a heterosexual and her present as a gay or bi woman.

Though her sexuality has shifted, she remains fundamentally the same woman. Her past history doesn’t magically vanish, and she may even look back on it with fondness or gratitude for the relationships she had. Likewise, people may move through other sexual orientations depending on circumstances, their current stage of life, and other factors; the asexual who later realizes he’s gay, the lesbian woman who develops a bisexual attraction.

Yes, Sexuality Changes, and Yes, That Is Okay | this ain’t livin’  (via posypup)

I really like this! Sexuality (and gender in my opinion) can be very fluid depending on so many factors. Biggest point I want to make though: never deny someone’s sexual identity.

(via foryoursexualinformation)

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
How do I discuss abortion in a gender neutral way? I don't want to be hurtful when I talk about abortion.
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:


Thanks for asking!

Problem Language: Woman/Women  
Gender Neutral Language: Person/People 
Sentence: “I support a person’s right to choose.” - “People having on demand access to abortion in crucial.”

Problem Language: Pregnant Women/Woman
Gender Neutral Language: Pregnant Person/People
Sentence: “A pregnant person is most likely to abort in the first trimester.” - “Unsafe abortion is a leading killer of pregnant people.”

Problem Language: Woman/Women
Gender Neutral Language: Person/People who can become pregnant.
Sentence: “A person who can become pregnant should be able to seek reproductive health services without laws or stigma getting in the way.” - “Over 3/4 of people who can become pregnant do not have an abortion provider in their county.”

Problem Language: Woman/Women
Gender Neutral Language: Person/People this issue affects.
Sentence: “1 in 3 people this issue affects will have an abortion by age 40.” - “A person this issue affects may have difficulty affording an abortion.”

Problem Language: Mother 
Gender Neutral Language: Pregnant Person/Parent
Sentence: “The chance of the pregnant person feeling regret after an abortion is actually statistically low.” - “The parent decided to terminate the pregnancy to take better care of their existing child.”

I did not include “People with uteruses” or “Person with a uterus” due to trans and Non-binary people telling me they find it triggering and reducing them to body parts. There’s plenty of alternatives, so let’s make our spaces safe and comfortable for everyone. 

This should make it extremely clear what language to use and how to use it. If I have forgotten something or I am suggesting problematic language please let me know and I’ll make alterations. 

this is a great reminder! we always support using gender-sensitive language.


April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

On average, there are 237,868 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), during which activists from all over the nation seek to raise awareness about sexual violence and educate individuals and communities about how to end it. This effort requires many voices – including yours! There are several ways you can get involved, and here are just a few:

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault and you need someone to talk to, contact loveisrespect 24/7 at 1-866-331-9474 or chat online at It’s free, anonymous, and confidential.

(via hellyeahscarleteen)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm on my period... my period seems to cease flowing in the shower... can I have shower sex without blood?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Your flow stops and starts at various points during the day, so it’s possible that the times you aren’t bleeding coincide with the times you’re in the shower - however, what’s more likely is that you just aren’t noticing the bleeding as much because it’s going down the drain.

You can definitely try to have shower sex and hope for minimal blood, but we’re guessing that whenever you have penetrative sex during your period, blood will happen.

If you want to have sex during your period, doing it in the shower is probably the most mess-free way, but there still might be a mess.