The Hampshire Sexperts

Welcome to the Hampshire College Sexperts Blog!

This here is a forum for YOU, dear community member, to ask any and all questions you may have about sex, sexuality, relationships, sex...
Submit your questions (anonymously or not) whenever you want! They'll be answered as soon as possible by the Hampshire College Sexperts.

The Sexperts will also be using this site to announce community events and share links/resources/additional information we think you'll enjoy. Do you have something sex-related YOU'D like to share? DO IT! Just PLEASE keep your comments respectful and nonjudgmental.

The Sexperts are a group of peer educators, not medical professionals. While we'll always answer questions to the best of our ability, we'll also be honest in recommending professional advice when we feel it's appropriate.

Thoughts? Feedback? Suggestions? Questions about the Sexperts? You can also email us at!
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Is edu kink still active?
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Yep! But we’re not affiliated with them at all 

Asker Anonymous Asks:
I'm a gay cismale and some times when I bottom, the next day when I use the restroom there is a tiny bit of blood that comes out. Is that ok? Am I doing something wrong? Also do you have any general tips on anal sex/play? I've tried looking on the internet but I don't know what sites I can trust
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

We want to stress that when engaging in anal play it is important to treat it as seriously and carefully as painting a porcelain doll, make sure to use a loooot of lube. It may be helpful to use anal plugs/anal beads of different sizes to help stretch and relax the anus itself. A tiny bit of blood is not necessarily a cause for concern but is indicative of a need to be a little gentler. 

As a side note, it’s important to keep in mind the importance of using barrier methods when there is a risk of skin tearing and an exchange of bodily fluids. 

A good site is: Go Ask Alice

Also, heres a really great comic from Oh Joy Sex Toy!

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Whenever I try to get myself off, my body stops digging it right before i'm about to orgasm :(
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

First off all, it’s totally fine if you don’t experience orgasm! Relax and enjoy the journey instead of seeing the journey as a means to an end! Don’t get frustrated with yourself! 

Here are some things you could try out:

  • make your space and time intentional to get into the right mental state
  • using a strong vibrator may help (a good strong vibrator is the hitachi magic wand which you can find on amazon, or at a local sex shop like Oh My in Northampton!)
  • try out some different stimulation! different textures and sensations can be really great
  • using a lot of lube - try out different types! there’s water based, silicone, or you could try natural lubricants like bodily fluids 

Again! It’s about the journey, not the destination and perhaps if you focus more on the journey you’ll actually wind up at the destination! 



A lot of people like to explain consent in sexual encounters as “No means no.” This is true, but doesn’t capture as many crucial parts of happy fun sex and experiences as “Yes means yes!” Consent should always be informed and enthusiastic, never coerced, and you and your partner should be looking for consent continuously. Stay safe, stay happy, and have fun!

Consent can look different for different people, but that’s why communication between partners is so important. No matter what it looks like though, consent should not hinge on any fear, discomfort, or pressure. 

(via hellyeahscarleteen)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
how do i join the sexperts i am first year
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

Great question! We have a Sexperts [required] training this Friday the 26th from noon to 3 pm in the Center for Feminisms. If you can’t attend, email us at and we’ll work something out! <3 We would love to have you.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Is there a word you know of that's similar to misgendering, but describes incorrectly assuming one is a certain sexuality? Love this blog!
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:

We can’t think of a single word for this, but you could say “heteronormative assumptions” if that’s appropriate, or “incorrect assumptions about sexuality” - if you can think of a better way to say it, we would love to hear it!

also thanks ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

"I love women," is not a get out of jail free card. Thicke pulled the same bullshit when he was accused of degrading women in "Blurred Lines": "When we made the song, we had nothing but the most respect for women," he said. How nice of you to say so, Mr. Thicke. Alas, your work shows the opposite to be true. I am fairly certain many of the men who buy sex and consume porn also think they do it because they really, really, love women. NOPE. You love women like I love wine — as something I consume selfishly for my personal benefit and as a product.
Asker Anonymous Asks:
Uhm.. my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time tonight, it's getting close to my time of the month and his penis is 4x larger than what I am use to but, after we had sex I bled and it's scaring me..a little help?/:
thehampshiresexperts thehampshiresexperts Said:


One good way to tell where bleeding comes from is the color of the blood. Bright bright red usually means that it is coming from the vagina or vaginal opening. Darker, maybe with some brown colors, type of blood usually means period blood. Hopefully this can help you discern between the two. I wouldn’t be concerned about the period blood but the bright red could be a few things.
The bright red could be a tear somewhere in the vagina. If the penis was larger than you were used to, I would say it could have made you nervous and possibly muscles clenched a bit during activity. The best way to remedy this is to refrain from sexual activity for a week to allow healing. Then, next time sexual activity occurs, use lots of lube (water or silicone based!) and take things slowly so you can be relaxed.


Educate yourselves and the people around you. Take rape seriously. Listen to people. I think a big part of why rape culture even exists is because slut shaming exists. Don’t take part in either one. 

Amanda, Sex Ed Intern

(via cuntofboo)


Because I’ve partnered with Dollar Rubber Club quite a few times, they are offering a special promo for any of my followers. If you sign up for their club for at least two months, you’ll get your first month of condoms for only one cent! Dollar Rubber Club mails you an order of condoms discretely and right to your door for only one dollar a month. You can choose either a 12 pack variety pack or 12 pack of your favorite condoms, a 6 pack, or a 3 pack. Click on the link and enter one of the promo codes on the billing screen once you pick your pack. You will be charged one penny.

And remember, condoms aren’t just for penis in vagina sex, you can use them with toys, and cut them open to use them as dental dams. Wrap it up!